Thursday, September 04, 2008

Worst movie ever made

I watched, as the title suggests, Singh is Kinng yesterday. Without beating around the bush, I'd like to tell you to stay as far away from it as possible. If you meet someone you don't know well and you want to know if he has brains or any sense of aesthetics or is worthy of friendship, ask him whether he liked Singh is Kinng. If he says yes, turn around very slowly and run. It's my new litmus test to wean out the unworthy and those who pollute our world.

The movie sets a new standard in poor filmmaking. The plot is wafer thin, the characters are cardboard cutouts and the script is a two line scribble. I don't know how people like the director, scriptwriter etc of this movie ever get the chance to create this drivel. As a creative person, if one year of my life went into making this, I'd just retire. Don't know how or why or even whether this is such a big hit (since media has sold out already, proof being the positive reviews for the movie, reports of it being a big hit might very well be exaggerated) but even if I knew it would make me a lot of money, I'd just feel pathetic at the sheer lack of quality of my creation.

There are exactly 7 minutes of the movie that are worth watching. The first five, which fall under the category of so-bad-it's-good cinema, which have a Sardar called 'King' (or 'Kinng'?) with a french beard leaping off a building and parachuting in pursuit of his adversary on a motorcycle, catching him and then taking off with him once again! I guess if you're a Sardar anything is possible. Or maybe if you're King/Kinng. Or maybe if you're in a Godawful Vipul Amratlal Shah movie. The other two are when the song "Teri Ore" plays against the pyramids and Katrina Kaif does her thing in a black sari. The loser that this movie is, it doesn't even have the complete song. It has some 3 paras and that's it.

Akshay Kumar looks like an idiot for most of the movie and for the rest, slips into "Namastey London" mode, brokering Kaif's marriage to her bf who she doesn't quite know whether she loves or not with Singh aka Kinng's shining star in both her eyes. She floats along looking pretty till her marriage where there is a comedy of errors the result of which is that she ends up as Singh's wife (oops, sorry for the spoiler) and all is happily ever after jee. Balle balle.
Phew!

I also watched Rock On the day before. Should've watched these movies in the reverse order, because Rock On is actually a pretty decent movie. The music's good, quite genuinely rock-like, the acting's okay and the story's good too. True, execution could have been better but what the hell, it's watchable and doesn't make you come back questioning your faith in movies. Oh, but watch out for the extras in the last concert scene who have absolutely no idea why they're waving their hands at Magik (that's the band name). Their expressions are quite priceless :).

As you can see, I have a lot of time to watch movies and so on.

8 Comments:

Blogger Rashman said...

yes, i enjoyed 'Singh is Kinng' :P

"Its so bad, its good" -as you contend- pretty much applies to the whole movie. I don't think any moment in the movie was supposed to be taken seriously at all- its over the top, non-sensical and how!

I wouldn't recommend it for a second viewing, but definitely once, with a group of rowdy friends, at a night show, preferrably in the vicinity of drunk Sardars.

On the contrary, if Rock On was supposed to be inspiring and meaningful, i am under-whelmed. Some of the dialogues were stunted, and unintentionally hilarious... And what was Papa Akhtar on when he wrote lyrics like Zehreeley Zehreeley, Kale, Neele, Peele!

4/9/08 5:01 PM

 
Blogger Robert Frust said...

[rashman] Well, I knew I wasn't to take anything in SiK seriously. I was also fully prepared to see a so-bad-it's-good movie. However, SiK wasn't that. Moreover, even technically it was poor. The songs, with the exception of Teri Ore were poorly picturized (esp the title track which was pedestrian), the dialogues were poor etc. The whole movie reflected lack of effort in any department, except the music.

Rock On was, I agree, underwhelming. "Zehreele..." etc was quite clearly a spoof on death metal and its lyrics. However, none of the other songs had great lyrics either.

4/9/08 7:42 PM

 
Blogger Captain Subtext said...

We already had a discussion on how I failed the litmus test. But I find this whole rant of yours as funny as SiK. Yeah, I found SiK quite funny :D

5/9/08 1:21 PM

 
Blogger The Hell Butterfly said...

Though I dont watch movies, but read since I follow ur blog. and hence I figure out that there is no meaning to this comment.. err.. like Singh is Kinng perhaps. :)

5/9/08 2:22 PM

 
Blogger Robert Frust said...

[captain subtext] I never quite know what it means when you find things funny. Obviously, the rant was meant to be funny. I'm sure SiK was too. The difference is that the rant really is funny :).

[the hell butterfly] What? But yes, SiK is meaningless.

5/9/08 6:00 PM

 
Blogger The Hell Butterfly said...

was I unclear??
I meant I commented since I generally comment on ur posts..

5/9/08 11:02 PM

 
Blogger thelostcause said...

loved the third sentence.

6/9/08 5:56 PM

 
Blogger inhas said...

" I also fail the litmus test. According to me some of the parts were really hilarious.. like chewra for cereal :)..and rest of the parts are so inane that it is hilarious. Or may be you need to define two tests.. one for people who work and one who do not :P because it is welcome relief from work :) "

7/9/08 5:04 PM

 

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